> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
> > computer history if you die.
> >
> > 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
> > you're wrong.
> >
> > 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
> > younger.
> >
> > 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
> >
> > 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
> >
> > 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
> >
> > 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
> > I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
> >
> > 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
> > person died.
> >
> > 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
> >
> > 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
> >
> > 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
> > when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
> > rest of the day.
> >
> > 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
> > want to have to restart my collection...again.
> >
> > 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
> > I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
> > did not make any changes to.
> >
> > 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
> >
> > 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn
> > it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
> > voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
> > away?
> >
> > 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
> > anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. Even worse, going out looking
> really awful, and seeing everyone in town that you've ever known!
> >
> > 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
> > answer when they call.
> >
> > 18. I think the toliet should have a little light on it (kind of like the inside fridge light)
> so you can find it at night without turning on all the lights.
> >
> > 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
> > Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
> >
> > 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
> >
> > 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
> > suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw
> > it.
> >
> > 22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand
> > than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
> >
> > 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish
> > a text.
> >
> > 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
> >
> > 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
> > smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
> >
> > 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
> > prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
> > sisters!
> >
> > 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
> > and you can wear them forever.
> >
> > 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
> >
> > 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
> > to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
> >
> > 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
> > no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
> >
> > 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
> > know what time it is.
> >
> > 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
> > in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
> > but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet
> > away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
